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Always in My Heart

 

Emily, you are always in my heart. Sometimes I think of things that you did and I smile. Sweet memories come back when I see things you liked or pictures of you in the gardens here. I wish Velvet could have met you. Surely, you would have enjoyed each other’s company well. Velvet is a calm girl like you were. There are a lot of things you have in common, though different.

At times, though, the tears flow easily. Many of the photos of you are so beautiful and the reminders so fresh, that I have still not been able to view them all from over the years. Velvet understands and will lick my tears…

Then, I think, I miss you very much! The love in your eyes and the care that you gave me still warms my heart. I am able to go on through my day again.

Queen Emily

Queen Emily

Big Meadows Lodge, Shenandoah, VA

Big Meadows Lodge, Shenandoah, VA

Mt. Vernon, VA

Mt. Vernon, VA

Brandywine Battlefield, PA

Brandywine Battlefield, PA

 

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Emily, It’s been a year now…

We still miss Emily as much as when she left us on August 27, 2014; we always will miss her as she was such a great part of our lives. I can’t relive those days and hours in my mind as it’s so very sad. Now it is remembering without the details to make it more bearable.

Yet, there are still times of tears and deep sorrow. Anniversaries are always very sad for my late parents, now for Emily, too. I miss them all so much and wish I could go back in time just for a moment. Looking at Emily’s pictures and videos is easier now as I just think of the moment they were taken and not that she is missing.

I will never “get over” her loss and will hold her in my heart always. Many people never get another dog after losing a dear one or they never get that breed again. That makes things much worse, I think. God gave us Velvet to help us heal and she has. She’s been here 11 months already and we can cope with Emily’s memories better due to her.

We have learned to thank God for his foresight and gifts in Velvet coming here to be with us now and forever. Emily was a most beautiful girl in every way; Velvet is also in her ways very beautiful, too.

When we all meet again in Heaven, we will then have much to tell each other.

                                                 Bouquet-8_25_2015-9_44_45_AM

Almost a Year…

 

August 27, 2014 was the day that my beloved Emily went to Heaven. I still miss her and cry sometimes but I know I’ll see her again. When I think about the last weeks and days, though, it’s still tough. God carried me through and answered all my earnest prayers.

He held her and carried her home. He created all things beautifully and perfectly. God gave our dogs each their own personalities. Isn’t that something? When one goes to Heaven, the others left know and understand when they are allowed to say good-bye.

Corky, Emily’s son, came to her, sniffed her, and bid farewell. He missed her for a while but never searched for her because he knew. They remember, too. I one doesn’t get to do this, they may go into a deep-grief and not eat. They search for the missing dog.

David’s corgi, Cuddles, knows where Charlie is. Charlie passed away a few days before Emily. Yet some month later, David found Cuddles at Charlie’s grave. This is a very toughing photo and bring tears to my eyes. Yet God makes sure Cuddles is comforted also. He has everything in control.

Sometimes I talk to Corky about Emily and he understands. God gave him Velvet, whom he adores, to comfort him as he ages. It’s amazing.

We all miss Emily so much but we’ll see her again soon.

David's Cuddles at charlie's grave in June 2015.

David’s Cuddles at charlie’s grave in June 2015.

Sweet Memories of Emily

Sweet Memories of Emily

The Gift of Love

Today, April 25th, is our wedding anniversary of 23 years! (It’s also the birthday of my oldest daughter.) We will go out to dinner this weekend and enjoy ourselves…

Today, also, is Glenn’s Gift of Love to Emily-he put her arch up and concrete again at the bottom due to very strong crosswinds in that area. When the brickwork is completed, I will plant Mom’s rose and clematis on one side, and continue fixing the rose garden that I began the other day.

April is both a happy and sad month as Mom passed away April 8, 2011 and Emily’s last photo in the gardens was with Glenn and under the rose arch. We miss then greatly. Now, though, I can walk in that garden and think of them while enjoying God’s flowers. They are in heaven now so we are happy for that.

We are also thankful for 23 years of marriage and looking forward to our 25th! It’s easier now and better than many other times. Glenn continues to give many ‘gifts of love’ to us daily here in taking care of the home and gardens and furkids.

This year we are trying to catch-up and take it easy, too. Dad passed away in July 2007 and it took me 18 months to move on. Then we had construction to 2012, with Mom passing away in 2011. In Oct. 2012 I had a small stroke from all that stress and that took a while to recover. In the summer of 2013, Emily could no longer walk and we got her a cart by Nov. She also almost died from a blockage and a long bought of pneumonia in Feb 2013. Emily passed away in August 2014 and the remainder of the year was filled with grief.

One thing after another and the gardens have not fully been taken care of at times. That is being done this year as much as God will allow us to do. No construction is planned for this year. We plan to just be outside with the furkids, garden, and enjoy ourselves with as little stress as possible.

Emily’s birthday is in May just after Glenn’s. We are hoping for warmer weather and a warm celebration of both of their birthdays.

A Gift of Love given to us by God has increased and multiplied. We pray that it continues for more years to come! Happy Anniversary, Glenn!

Glenn installed Emily's new arch today.

Glenn installed Emily’s new arch today.

Emily’s Garden Arch

We are preparing “Emily’s Garden” Fragrances, Potpourris, Oils, and more Bath and Beauty items. They will be on my website and online store this year. The label looks like this:

The label has Emily walking in her cart and under the Rose arch.

The label has Emily walking in her cart and under the Rose arch.

Emily loved the gardens here and we think of her while walking and working out there. Glenn loved walking her in her cart around the rose and vegetable gardens each day. He took especially good care of her. Even in the snow, he would shovel all the pathways so she could still walk around. It was cute.

I have videos and still pictures of them. One of the photos was taken on Easter in 2014 and under the arch. Glenn loved that one so I have it enlarged and on a canvas photo with 3 others of Emily. I cropped the photo to make the label for Emily’s Garden products. The labels are oil and water resistant and came out well.

Glenn and Emily on Easter in 2014. She loved her walks.

Glenn and Emily on Easter in 2014. She loved her walks.

ALAS! AS Mom would have said, “Nothing lasts forever.” The western cedar arch was recently seen moving in the wind. A check on it showed that it is worse than a year ago.  Glenn took in down the other day. Now Emily’s arch is gone…

Glenn wants it back and misses it after it has been there 18 years. I agree and couldn’t plant the climbing rose bush I got last spring on it. I’ve just ordered an exact copy of the western cedar arch. Some things have to be replaced and others we can leave out when removed. Now, it is even more meaningful to have the rose arch back in.

It will come in about 10 days and will be in Memory of Emily. The rose that I got is in Memory of Mom so that will look good. We have Mom’s clematis from behind her home that she had growing in the climbing rose there. The rose didn’t survive so that was why I got a new one. Now they’ll be growing together again.

There are other memories that we have of Emily in our gardens here. She loved smelling the flowers as I showed her how to do that without tasting them. He favorite places were where she could watch over ‘her kingdom’ and all the other fur kids and keep them in line with a ‘bark, bark’ if needed.

Emily would be right there by Dad at his favorite place under a large, red maple in the back. Sadly, we had to remove that tree due to dangerous large branches. There, too, we had to have a replacement tree so “Dad’s Tree” is now a Japanese red maple. Under that I planted the oriental lilies that he liked.

Emily’s Arch will be put up before her birthday in May. We hope to have that garden fixed up for a photo then. We dearly miss them all. These areas are next to the Memory Garden where Mom’s bench is. Memories give us a smile and sometimes a tear but we are fortunate that we have them.  There’s nothing like a garden to sit in and reflect on the love that we shared.

Emily is in Heaven Four Months Now

It is now easy some days. I think of her sometimes and cry. But the spans between those times are now greater. For Glenn also there are tears at times. We have many photos to see of Emily and that’s good. Many days that we look at them we can smile.
We’ve young Velvet to make us laugh and keep us company with Ginny and Corky. It’s very peaceful here. Thankfulness fills our hearts for these things. They are all happy and fairly healthy, with the older 2 having their arthritis.
Like with humans, the holidays bring back many memories of loved ones. This Christmas was nice but I had a sadness under it all with Emily gone. That also led to me thinking of my late parents… Times are different now.
So it is, that we move on in life. We can help others with our experiences but they alone have to make the choice at the end of their dog’s life. It’s a very personal decision and only they can do that. For us, we’ve made the right choice by letting God take back the life he gave Emily to Himself. But every person has their own beliefs.
As much as I want to comfort the other corgi owners who have lost theirs or are in the midst of making a choice, I can’t do very much now. I can provide a link to this blog but I cannot post to theirs or get into a big conversation about this yet. It is just too heart-wrenching still.
Glenn and I can talk about it to each other but not too much with other people. The hurt is still too raw and we don’t want to detail the end of her life. Still, it’s a new year and we are going on and will be able to discuss it perhaps later.
We will never forget Emily who latched onto our hearts for so many years.

"Where's Daddy?" Emily waited for Daddy to walk her in the cart. She loved it.

“Where’s Daddy?”
Emily waited for Daddy to walk her in the cart. She loved it.

My Thoughts are With Emily

Working through grief is tough. Most of the time now I can think of Emily and all the happy times that we shared. But there are times of sorrow and tears. It was last night and today that this hit me hard.
I realized that looking at the last photos near her passing and thinking of her then, are my worst moments. Tonight I looked over some of the nearly 13 years of photos and felt better. Emily was a very beautiful corgi girl and very photogenic. She would pose and stay in place. This was due to her show-dog, obedience training before she came to me.

I have many gorgeous photos and now will have two more canvas pictures made. I haven’t decided which as there are so many! We went to many places and had good times. Our last vacation together was to Williamsburg, VA in Dec. 2011. One night, I realized that this may be our last vacation. I cried the whole night.

I haven’t been on vacation since then as I took care of her and had my own health issues. Now, I think this coming year that I will go and begin my life with Velvet…

The birthday girl at Longwood Gardens. It was her favorite place.

The birthday girl at Longwood Gardens. It was her favorite place.

Emily's favorite spot here in the gardens. (This was the old pond before we added the cabin deck.) She liked to look over her 'kingdom' and watch Corky and Ginny.

Emily’s favorite spot here in the gardens. (This was the old pond before we added the cabin deck.)
She liked to look over her ‘kingdom’ and watch Corky and Ginny.